So I guess if I’m going to have a blog, I should probably blog more, hey?
I don’t know about you but I often get in my own head too much. I analyze everything. I think “oh hey, I should blog about that!” and then I stop, because I think it’s not good enough to blog about. Or no one wants to hear it. But you know what? I love that people read this, but I didn’t actually create this space for anyone other than myself so I am just going to blog what I feel, as I feel it. Ok? Ok!
So this week I’ve been hustling HARD. Saturday is the Berry Beat Festival in Old Downtown Abbotsford and I signed up to be a vendor. I have had a few “What on earth was I thinking?” moments as I’ve been prepping for this. Firstly, it’s a 12 hour day. 12. Hours. How am I going to man a booth for 12 hours?! Will the baby come with me for a while? I’ve never been away from him for 12 hours so I’m hoping so. Also, it’s on my father in law’s birthday and I’m going to completely miss his party and the family gathering because I didn’t think that through at.all. Also – what if no one buys anything?! I’ve spent a lot on materials, a tent, a table, the vendor space … with absolutely zero experience. On the other hand, what if I sell out?? I can only make so much right now since everything is out of pocket, and being a 12 hour day that’s a long time to keep stock! I think that scenario is probably more wishful thinking, because selling out is a good problem to have, but I also don’t want my booth to look pathetic and empty!
I think I’m feeling the stress of these worries a bit more now that my maternity leave is officially over. I’ve chosen to stay home and work on this business and my photography business so I can be home with Silas and be available for my big kids – the cost of daycare just didn’t make sense with only working part time. But having no consistent, expected income is a scary thing. Props to all you entrepreneur mamas out there for sure! It’s hard work, and I’m leaning on God’s provision and working on separating wants from needs. This, my friends, is a difficult thing to do!
Anyways, it does kind of feel good to write out my worries. I know in the end it’s going to go whatever way it goes, but this hustle is real and it’s a tiny bit stressful! My big kids are currently at daycamp through the day, which helps me get some work done (though I wish so much I could have some peaceful time to myself in that comfy hammock on the patio!) and the sun is shining which is a real mood booster for sure! But the overwhelm is real and the to-do list long.
Anxiety is a bit of a beast. I’ve always struggled with this and I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it go away but for now I will take a break and a drink of ice cold water, breathe deeply, soak in the sunshine and remember that I am a child of God and I can cast my worries and anxiety on Him.
What do you do when you’re overcome with worry and anxiety?