This time every year I find myself in a rut. A creative rut. An organizational rut. Just a rut. I need to climb out. To stretch myself. To find new possibilities. I’m particularly awesome at starting projects and not finishing them so I’m hesitant to commit but I’m going to try a daily prompt to get me to pick up my big camera more at home. Find the light. Not just with my camera, but find it in the mundane daily tasks. Find it in my prayers. Just lift my eyes and find the light. Because of this rut I find myself searching for inspiration. For motivation. Something to kick start the drive to do more. I’ve found a couple challenges right now that have me interested. One is a set of 365 daily photography prompts. Inspired by my friend Natasha of Wildwood Photography whose work makes me stop in awe every time it passes on my instagram feed, I decided I too want to get better at finding the light in the day to day. Both figuratively and literally. Enter photo prompts! (Eli at the fridge below was the result of today’s prompt – small light source!)
The second one was introduced by another photographer and blogger friend, Emily (check out her blog here!) and it’s called “Magic in the Mayhem” which is just a 10 day challenge that I hope will help start me off in the right direction. Today’s challenge was to go about our days as usual but take note of what stresses us out. Is there something big that always seems to be nagging at us? Or a bunch of not-so-tough little things that snowball into something that makes you want to hide in a pantry eating all the good stuff. (Did you see that vid? This mama is like my spirit animal or something. Quads? You take that treat, woman.)
I don’t know if I have a “biggest stress” … I also don’t know if I have enough time or enough pictures I could take of them. This morning it was the freezing rain ice coating my van, making it impossible to open the doors and impossible to scrape off – I had to wait while the van warmed. The kids were late for school. Which meant more minutes getting them to stay put, put on shoes, don’t forget your backpack, stop fighting, don’t poke your brother, hands to yourself, turn off the tv, please listen to me… and so on. The day while they were at school consisted of nursing an on-the-mend but still a bit sick little baby, wishing I could nap to catch up from the lack of sleep this week but perusing facebook instead… avoiding the dishes and all the chores. Zero motivation. Everything piling up. Then having to pick up my kids but parking in the icy parking lot across the road from the school because my normal “close spot” was taken. When they were home they were fighting, full of energy I only wish I could have a drop of, making messes, asking for “just another snack” which reminds me of needing groceries. Which reminds me we are already almost to the bottom of our tight maternity-leave budget. Again. More stress.
But… silver lining in all of it. The big littles wanted to help me do the chores. We checked off boxes on the to-do list. And my littlest was content and playing on his own a few times today. He’s really such an easygoing baby, and my bigs are so loving. They know when mama is at the end of her rope and know exactly when to love on me. Yes, the evening brought more stresses like dinner, spilled milk because someone wouldn’t stop playing with the toy we said to put away, and tomorrow will be much the same as today, but I want to be present and savour the sweet moments. The giggles when that sticky hand flew across the room. The times they actually played nicely and the imagination that was involved. And the independence of my 5 year olds to go to the fridge and find a snack. The fact that we DO have snacks, in a fridge, in a warm house with a roof keeping us warm and dry and together. And that makes it all worth it.